In less than two weeks, I’ll be moving halfway across the country. As I do with everything in my world, I’ve been looking for meaning behind every box and bag that I prepare for moving day. I can’t just pack up and move and be done with it. I have to analyze this season. I have to use it for a purpose. I have to make sense of it all in the grand scheme of my life and see what I might discover about God through the journey.
I’ve been purging like I’ve never purged before. I’ve sold every piece of furniture that I own. I’ve thrown away thousands of pictures of people whose names I can’t or shouldn’t remember. Or people whose names I’ve been holding on my tongue for years, but who have long since forgotten mine. I parted with my high school graduation cap and gown, gold medals from choir competitions, Christmas presents from exes, and two car loads (so far) of miscellaneous junk that I’ve been dragging behind me with each move. I feel lighter with each thump into the black trash bags that are strategically placed in every room. And when I look around at my almost-empty apartment, I don’t feel sad for what I’ve lost — I feel the chains of the past falling away one by one and a deep sense of wonder over what’s to come.
Simplify. That word has been playing in my head over and over again. I make everything so complicated. I analyze everything to death, including my faith. While I’m a big fan of asking the tough questions, and know that God’s big enough to handle it, this morning He is reminding me to have faith like a child. To simplify. To purge my mind like I’ve purged my belongings, and to believe like a child believes, wholeheartedly and without reserve. It’s a process that will take time, and I would guess that I’ll still kick and scream at multiple junctures, but it is a journey worth taking. And so I’m taking it.
The naysayers in my life (and there are, unfortunately, several at this point) don’t understand why I’m leaving. But I’m okay with that. Because in simplifying, I’m also giving myself the freedom to not carry the baggage of others’ opinions around with me. I can’t please everyone, but there is one whom I *do* want to please. Without faith it is impossible to please God. So I’m going to step out on faith. I believe that the days ahead are bright. And I’m going to take the journey without the burden of the crap that I’ve been dragging around for 31 years. Freedom is a beautiful thing.